Spider Pizza

EWWW! Ha ha, busted:

The pizza is created under the direction of Mr. Matsuba of the Insect Cuisine Eating Association (昆虫料理を食べる会) . . . He also makes beetle pizza. [1]

Crocodiles v. Alligators

In all honesty, the reason I haven't posted anything on this blog lately (besides it being a kind of assholey premise) is because I've been putting off posting my first real mistake. While on our way to Florida a few months ago, Rae started telling me about the crocodiles there. I corrected her saying that only alligators (infernal beasts) live in America (and in China and nowhere else). It turns out I was very, almost tragically wrong:

Southern Florida is the only place where both alligators and crocodiles live side by side. [1]

And to make matters worse, The Facts:

There's good news for fans of big reptiles: The American crocodile, found in South Florida, has staged a comeback. It has done so well that the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service wants to take it off the endangered species list. The biggest surprise is that the crocodile owes much of its comeback to a nuclear power plant . . . [they] live and breed in the extensive canal system south of Miami next to the Turkey Point nuclear power plant . . . in canals that were built to cool the water left over from generating nuclear power . . . When the nuclear plant was built in the early 1970s, the American crocodile was heading toward extinction. At the time, FPL [Florida Power & Light] wasn't thinking about crocodiles, but the crocodiles have made themselves at home. At last count, there were 400 juvenile or adult crocodiles at Turkey Point — nearly one-quarter of the entire U.S. American croc population. The animals love the area . . . because it provides almost perfect crocodile habitat: a mixture of freshwater and saltwater canals, and very few people. [2]

This is NOT A JOKE. Haven't these guys heard of Killer Croc?!

In the process of researching this post I learned that the word alligator is a bastardized spelling of the Spanish el lagarto (the lizard)! I also learned that the largest recorded alligator was 17 feet 5 inches (oh Jesus god). I just want to go on record here and say that if you didn't know that alligators existed and someone told you that 17-foot-long man eating reptiles lived in modern day America you wouldn't believe them. One time I stopped by a bird viewing platform in the Everglades with my mum and while everyone was oohing and aahing at some frosted egret or whatever the simian depths of my brain was staring at the alligators circling the platform waiting for someone to fall in. If I hadn't already believed in evolution, the primal urge I felt to scream, climb up a tree and throw rocks at them would have utterly convinced me.

These guys had the right idea (not that I'm advocating the killing of a potentially endangered species):

Wackness Golden Ticket

The Claim: One lucky purchaser of a certain copy of The Wackness DVD will find a proverbial golden ticket that wins them a trip to Amsterdam and some weed.

The Facts (from the film's website):

WIN A TRIP TO AMSTERDAM AND A BAG OF MARIJUANA!

Yes, you heard us correctly! We’re offering the chance for you to win a fabulous weekend break for 2 to the city of smoke itself, the beautiful Amsterdam. But that’s not all… the lucky winner will also be able to pick up a complimentary bag of skunk from legendary Amsterdam café, Hill Street Blues.

Hidden within one of the first 1,000 DVDs of The Wackness is a Golden Ticket. Find the Golden Ticket and you win! It’s that simple.

[1] [2]

666 v. 616

The Claim: A new translation of the bible is saying the number of the beast is supposed to be 616 not 666. When asked if they would be changing their beliefs accordingly, a member of a New York satanic church said something along the lines of "we will if the Christian Church does."

The Facts:

A newly discovered scrap of the oldest surviving copy of the New Testament seemed to suggest that when it came to the mark of the beast, they had the wrong number. In fact it was the rather less ominous 616.

Magus Peter H Gilmore, High Priest of the Church of Satan, New York, responded, saying Satanists were happy to start using 616 as the number of the beast if that scared Christians more.

"By using 666 we're using something that the Christians fear. Mind you, if they do switch to 616 being the number of the beast then we'll start using that."

[1] [2]

Tiny Houses

The Claim: Settlers in the American west built tiny houses to falsely claim residency because the government did not specify feet when it gave the dimensions required.

The Facts:

With the secession of Southern states from the Union and therefore removal of the slavery issue, finally, in 1862, the Homestead Act was passed and signed into law. The new law established a three-fold homestead acquisition process: filing an application, improving the land, and filing for deed of title. Any U.S. citizen, or intended citizen, who had never borne arms against the U.S. Government could file an application and lay claim to 160 acres of surveyed Government land. For the next 5 years, the homesteader had to live on the land and improve it by building a 12-by-14 dwelling and growing crops. After 5 years, the homesteader could file for his patent (or deed of title) by submitting proof of residency and the required improvements to a local land office . . . Some land speculators took advantage of a legislative loophole caused when those drafting the law's language failed to specify whether the 12-by-14 dwelling was to be built in feet or inches.

[1]

Shock Troops

The Claim: There was an army a long time ago in Scotland or something whose front line of soldiers would cut off their own heads to stun the opposing army long enough for the remaining head-equipped soldiers to overwhelm them.

The Facts: Whoops! It turns out that the army I was thinking of was Chinese, not Scottish (I was confusing it with Scotsmen lifting up their kilts before battle to show the British that they were tough enough to wade through nettles with no underwear). That doesn't change my main claim though:

In 496 BC the army of King Goujian of Yue put three ranks of criminals in the front of their battle formation. Their task was to impress the enemy with their ferocity and commitment by chopping off their own heads as soon as battle was joined. The tactic was a success; while their opponents from the State of Wu were recovering from their astonishment they were overrun by the rest of the Yue army. The convicts, who were condemned men anyway, had been coerced by the threat that if they didn't comply with this plan their families would be executed also. This era of Chinese history is known as the Spring and Autumn Period. The Yue people were the ancestors of the modern Vietnamese. Yue eventually destroyed Wu before being itself swallowed up by Chu.

[1] [2]